Stuffed and stacked floor to ceiling
Sealed cartons, boxes, parcels, pouches
Years of same-day, next-day deliveries
Unopened due to dreading a breach in the value chain
I’m not stable enough anymore
To take that kind of chance.
Deep into all day happy hour
Drinking the Earliest of Times
Ghosting the world
Bingeing on methods of euthanasia
As well as the greatest Subreddits
In hip hop history.
Fearing good neighbors
Knocking at the door
Prounouncing the K
KnocK KnocK KnocK
Be trying to save me
Somekindaway.
Capitalism will try to save me
There’s simply no DNR in capitalism’s DNA
Ain’t nobody seen a profit yet
In helping people off themselves on demand
Capitalism does not thrive in a vacuum
Which is what I’m pretty much assuming death is.
Religion will try to save me
Threatening holiness
Might even deny me my resurrection
The way things are right now
Such that I might not be coming back as a Slater cat,
Or a Baca cat or a Shaw tortoise.
Right side of the dirt
Is usually my answer.
When she asks how I am
While I’m thumb stuffing bullets into a magazine
Slamming that magazine up inside the frame of the firearm
Racking the slide and now there’s a round in the chamber.
If you find a non-violent way
Let me know, I always say
Send me a text how
Before you actually do it
When she says
I’m ready to kill myself.
If only life came with a side of
Of the right to not exist
A supplement to the policy
And the life ending medication
Would be available at the mini-mart
Next to the nicotine pouches and energy drinks.
I’d leave a stack on the table
In a diamond studded platinum money clip
Some for the product, most for a tip
Tell the driver keep it all
Freeing me in my final moments
To enjoy the 20 percent off coupons in my feed.
Nothing will save me
I won’t allow it
Asleep in five minutes
Twenty-five minutes later
Peacefully passing
Ctrl-Alt-Done.
